Dear Dr. Marissa,
Will I ever lose this weight? I just can’t seem to be as thin as I used to be and I know that I’m not in my 20s anymore and I know that I’ve had kids and I know women slow their metabolism down with age but it still doesn’t make me feel better about how I look in the mirror!
Hate my reflection
Dear Hate my reflection (temporarily),
Have you ever noticed that women are particularly hard on themselves?
Most women have a difficult time taking compliments, and studies show that there’s a real gender difference in that department. For example, Compliment to a woman:
“Nice pants.” Response: “Oh, I think they make my butt look big.” Compliment to a woman: “Nice hair” Reject compliment response: “Oh that’s because I actually washed it!” Give the same compliment to a man, and most men would just say, “Thank you!”
In fact, most women think they are fatter, not as smart and less attractive than they actually are.
Many men on the other hand, not all but many seem to have missed that “hard on self” gene and think they are smarter, more buff and have more hair than they actually do! I’m not male bashing here, I’m actually advocating that women learn to be less hard on themselves from men and to that end I created a life balance tool called “Have a Guy Day!” just to remind us to kick the habit of putting ourselves down constantly.
What-if we are all beautiful in our unique way and don’t need to compare ourselves with the photoshopped pictures that bombard us on the news today?
What-if we do the best that we can with the time that we have and the resources we have and cut ourselves some slack. What-if we had a Guy Day more often?
Now before the trainers and doctors start yelling at me, let me balance myself out. I am NOT saying to sit in front of the refrigerator all day and live in sweatpants so that you expand on a daily basis. That is NOT what I am advocating. It’s all about Balance. It’s like that cartoon I like posting when I am at the gym … my bathing suit says go to the gym and swim but my sweatpants say nah … you’re good! What if we all, especially women were kinder to ourselves and the way we see our reflection so that it’s NOT “never good enough” but not the other extreme of “it’s hopeless so I’m going to stay in bed and eat bon-bons everyday!”
What-if we tried to eat healthy 88 percent of the time and moved our bodies which are wonderful modes of transportation for this thing called life 88 percent of the time and stopped comparing ourselves to photos of others and our younger selves and realized that we are loving, loved and lovable exactly where we are in the present moment. What-if we realize that we can always do better but acknowledge that we are doing the best that we can. So today, look in the mirror and see the truth…you are smart, you are a perfect size for today and you are beautiful just the way you are!
—Signed Dr. Marissa
Dr. Marissa Pei,a proud SB resident for 20 years, is host of the 2016 Podcast of the Year Top 10 in Health Award winning show “Take My Advice, I’m Not Using It: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa” broadcasting out of the Sunset Gower Studios in Hollywood syndicated on CNBC and IHeartRadio.
Subscribe for free podcasts and Red Carpet interviews with John Travolta and Halle Berry on YouTube, especially if you missed Mickey Rooney’s son or MaryAnn from Gilligan’s Island! If you’d like to get balanced on the beach, go to www.4Balance.org.