Dear Dr. Marissa,
Another Seal Beach tragedy, the world is at war, our country is divided, my mom is dying with Parkinson’s, my son is stressed about college and I hate my job. My back hurts and I don’t feel like getting out of bed anymore. How can you tell me that everything is going to be okay?
—Hopeless in Seal Beach
Dear Hopeless (temporarily),
Yes, there’s a lot around us that sucks, sorry, not the most proper term but it does fit. And then when we meet people on the walkways of life, we continue to complain, worry, stress, worst case scenario, b*&% and moan until you’re right … staying in bed does seem like a good alternative. And that negative energy grows and festers and misery does love company so it gets darker and darker … and the light at the end of the tunnel is that of an oncoming train!
Yes, the truth is that people do horrible things … shoot people, hurt children, revel in war, steal, hack, rape, murder, lie and so on. And what percentage is that on the planet? I googled “what percentage of people on the planet are bad” and it’s unanimous from all sources … from the NY Times to Quora … that there are MORE GOOD people than bad.
What If, whenever I hear bad news, I look for the flipside.
What if I don’t start my day with “the News aka the Olds” because most media is a weapon of Mass Distraction and producers choose from a gazillion possible things to put in front of us based on the rule “if it bleeds it leads,” which is initially fascinating because we as humans seem drawn to the horrific.
What if when I do hear bad news, I stop, take a breath, release positive healing energy to whatever is hurting, and then recenter and balance myself to focus on the positive task in front of me. What if I ask, instead of ranting “What is WRONG with people??!!” questions like “How can I help? How can I serve? How can I create? How can I smile? How can I help someone else smile? How can I laugh? How can I remember something wonderful? How can I contribute to something wonderful? How can I make myself feel better first?” I feel better after I do laps in the pool, when I put on Pandora to be inspired by my favorite music, when I text someone to tell them I love them and to have the best day ever, when I go to the beach and meditate, when I write, when I prep for a show, when I cover Red Carpet events, when I eat my favorite foods (with Balance), when I play games, when I sail, when I reach out and touch with love, when I hug my daughters, when I see a person’s face light up when I pay them a compliment … and most of those don’t require spending money!
What if I chose to start every day with eight gratitudes? The late amazing Dr. Wayne Dyer suggests five but I am a recovering overachiever so I do eight … and 8 is a lucky number in Chinese … a homonym for good fortune.
And then all day, I put on my life jacket with a silver lining … and look for the good. And since July 1 2011, I also run the 21 Day Fast from Complaining on line to make sure I practice what I teach! My teens helped me put that in an APP just in case you want to get out of bed … just search Dr. Marissa at either app store … commercial break sorry 🙂 What if life is short, and your lease on life can have whatever terms you want to put on it? Because it’s all about Balance … Peace In and Peace Out!
About Dr. Marissa
Dr. Marissa resides in Old Town and is a motivational speaker, TV commentator, broadcast journalist and On-Air Personality with her award winning talk radio show “Take My Advice, I’m Not Using It: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa.” By education she is an Organizational Psychologist consulting with Fortune 100 companies on human dynamics at work including power politics miscommunication and conflict. Dr. Marissa’s Life Balance Coaching private practice includes Balance Tai Qi Qong, a moving meditation that promotes inner peace one breath at a time. Dr. Marissa just returned from India receiving the 2017 Iconic Women of the Year Award speaking at the Women’s Economic Forum. Dr. Marissa has been a proud resident of Seal Beach with her two beautiful daughters since 1998. www.DrMarissa.tv.
Join her at Rosie’s Dog Beach at 8:30 .m., this Saturday, July 29, for her meditation class.