It is with great sadness that I write and it is the only thing I can do to keep sane.
No drink or drug could make me or anyone understand what happened at the hair salon in Seal Beach last Wednesday, Oct. 12.
No one could define the place after that and yet I ponder on what I saw when I came to the memorial that encircles Salon Meritage.
It doesn’t speak of the violence that took place that day—only peace and tranquility stands outside of there today. Roses and other flowers, candles and signs—all point to one thing—love. That kind of peace can only be seen and heard when the news vans are gone.
I think about the woman I knew that was in that shop that fateful day—Michele.
She was a mom and wife, just like I am. She was also the same age as I am. The news hit hard last Friday as I am sure it did for anyone who knew her. Our connection was one of soccer, for our girls played together in the distant past and they were also in the same middle school at one time. Our girls had also graduated from preschool together years earlier than that, so there were always opportunities to speak to this fine woman. Her reflections were graceful and inviting.
She is one of the reasons I finished college because she supported me whenever I told her I was studying before the girls played ball. She would tell me it wasn’t easy for a mom to go back to school but that she commended me for pursuing my dream.
She told me to never give it up and by god I didn’t. She also supported me in my writing. She told me she actually read my articles. Not many people admit that and some just toss this newspaper in the trash, but she never did. For that I commend her because that’s just the kind of person she was.
Another memory I have is the season her older daughter played softball with mine. She supported her child like no mother I knew did on that team. Her daughter played her heart out even though she never played softball ever again.
It was because her mother had been there the whole time cheering her that mattered most—of that I am quite sure. I think the team was the worst one we had ever been on but that didn’t matter.
Michele said that what was important was to support our girls and she was right. Part of her philosophy of team work and showmanship is what I have put into my volunteer teaching at St. Hedwig. All kids need encouragement to know that what happens in games has a lot to do with life and they don’t have to be afraid to embrace god and be happy.
May her children and husband know today that I pray for them to be able to continue on with that tradition of who she was by remembering her and mimicking with everything she was, for I know she will smile in heaven when she sees the love and devotion and ultimately the peace that will come into their hearts when they realize she still loves them–even she isn’t here anymore.
Though healing is what truly matters most.
The devastation of knowing that Michele moved to this salon and I went on to another is disheartening, but I cannot dwell on it anymore. I can’t because it would keep me in a constant gloom and that’s not what anyone can endure for too long if they believe in a peaceful heart.
A lot of media has only concentrated on the viciousness of what has happened and yet we must know that somewhere deep in our hearts there will be a calm within ourselves if we look for it, for the human condition is such that you can only take so much pain.
You will cry and cry and those tears will need to be wiped again and again but you must remember that God has lifted these victims to heaven already.
That’s exactly what we all have prayed for these past several days.
That’s what the vigils were about on last week and all the prayer services in days after as well.
It’s about group prayer, something so strong that all the angels in heaven will hear—I assure you.
I recall a pastor being present when I first visited the salon after the tragedy.
He said that release will come when you pray.
I prayed so hard for three days and on Sunday something so beautiful happened.
I saw something I have never seen in my backyard for years and years.
It was a pure white butterfly that fluttered ever so quickly right in front of my face and behind the kitchen window as I was washing my breakfast dishes. It was right before then that I was asking God to give me a sign that Michele and all those at the salon were okay in heaven. I honestly believe that butterfly was Michele quickly telling me it was okay, and then fluttering away so she could tend to her other loved ones the same.
Like “The Rose” song says, “Just remember in the winterfar beneath the bitter snows /lies the seed that /with the sun’s love /in the spring/becomes the rose.”
We must truly believe that all who perished are like that rose. All those who are not here with us today live in our hearts and in our souls and those who perished will endure in us because that’s what god meant for all of us after this earth.
For Salon Meritage survivors, I commend you into the heart of Seal Beach.
We embrace you and encourage that you move on with grace and knowledge that the community supports you no matter what you will do when you are ready.
After days and days of seeing what we’re all about, I think you see the courage and support that is prevalent, even by strangers you never knew could care so much about you. Our “Mayberry by the Sea” is as serene as it has always been and we will remain friendly no matter what.
Crime does not define us, but peace in the shape of the rose and the angel does, in the days and years to come. Amen.
Enea Ostrich is a resident of College Park East, Seal Beach.
