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Guest Column: WHAT IF? With Dr. Marissa By Dr. Marissa Pei | Fri, Feb 02 2018 12:02 AM

Dear Dr. Marissa,

Now that the holidays are over, I am trying to keep to my New Year’s Resolutions ... and feeling hopeful and disillusioned at the same time.  Why does it feel like I keep sabotaging my own success?

Signed,

“I know better.”

Dear “I know better” aka You are Better, 

It’s always amusing to me that we all know better ... we all know we shouldn’t smoke or drink too much or eat that fattening thing or say that mean thing or buy that thing that we don’t have money for or or or ... and then we do it anyways!  I blame it on my internal Brat, the voice that says “You’re not the boss of me!” I don’t FEEL like doing that!”  or “One Krispy Creme/cigarette/designer purse/shot/pill/onenightstand is not that big of a deal” or “I just want to to have fun!”  And then if we do the deed, we have another voice that says, “You are a piece of poop ... you can’t keep promises, you’ll always be fat/sick/broke/worthless” which I call my internal Critic. 

What if these voices are normal and just part of the human condition? I know that people say that if you hear voices in your head you are crazy but I am here to tell you that if you don’t acknowledge and listen and soothe the voices in your head, they will drive you crazy!

What if these voices are parts of you that developed when you were young, and that they are not bad voices, that they are only dangerous if they are driving your life car.  What if one of the purposes of life is to develop our Balanced Centered Selves...the wise one who can soothe the brat and cajole the critic into taking a back seat?  What if we could name the voices and talk our way into helping ourselves? I call my brat Agnes, and when she really feels like stuffing her face with comfort food, I try to distract her with something she likes that isn’t fattening like Candy Crush...I know baby steps! When my critic Rose starts whacking me with “you shouldn’t have said this or done that” I say “Thank you for the criticism Rose, but I did the best that I could with the time that I had and the resources I had...next time I’ll do better but you beating me up is not going to help...you must be exhausted, have a seat on the passenger side! And yes, my mother’s name is Rose! What if we all adopted this Balance practice for a 28 days to strengthen our ability to soothe the voices and help keep promises to ourselves...because we are worth looking and feeling our best, worth gaining esteem through estimable acts and worth all the love joy peace and prosperity available to us in this thing called life!

Dr. Marissa, a proud Seal Beach resident since 1998, is host of the 2016 Podcast of the Year Top 10 in Health Award winning show “Take My Advice, I’m Not Using It: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa” broadcasting out of the Sunset Gower Studios in Hollywood syndicated on CNBC and IHeartRadio. Subscribe for free podcasts on YouTube Dr. Marissa Pei especially if you missed Potsie from Happy Days or MaryAnn from Gilligan’s Island. If you’d like to get balanced on the beach, go to www.4Balance.org.

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